Looking At The Past

Change can be fun! Change can be scary…

Change can be hard, or it can be easy. It all depends on what God decides for you…or what you decide to take into your own hands…

My whole life has been a whirlwind of change. My life has never been consistent. We were always moving, always changing, whether it be furniture,  cities, churches, hair, clothes, ideas, opinions, comfort zones… etc.

All I know is… change in my life has always been scary. It all seemed like we were just going down hill…nothing was gonna get better.

I am proud to say, the only consistent thing in my life, was my Lord and Saviour, and his gift of faith to believe! Though of course it was always a rocky road.

And guess what? MORE change has begun. But this is a new kind of change. Its a good change, and I know it!

But some part of me aches cause of my past. I am free! But why do I feel pain? I see flashbacks of my childhood all the time now, just in a different way...

It doesn't necessarily creep up on me in the middle of the night like your worst nightmare. But it's almost like…I miss my past. I want to go back and relive it! But why would I want to go back and relive such a terrible time?

I think its cause I never really had a normal childhood, and I want to go back and fix it, since now I have a stronger hold on life. But there is nothing to fix, because God intended for me to be here right now, writing this and living out my life the way it's been played out.

I am in no way unthankful! I am beyond blessed! I cry out to God in praise and humility every night…"I don't deserve this Lord. But honestly, we all deserve the worst…so I am beyond thankful! I fear you Lord, and I praise you!"

This is the first time in my entire life, where things are starting to be consistent. I feel consistent in my way of thinking. I am not swayed by others own opinions, or put down too easily. It would take me way too long to go through the list of how consistent my life is now… but it's getting better each and every day!

I was once living in a box, with a few streams of light shining through the little holes.

All of us are broken, and God is here to fix us. We just have to be honest with ourselves…

I feel God is calling me to share my story, help others who are in my once upon a time situation! But we all must trust in God, because He is writing our "Happily ever after"…

Psalm 62:6 "He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken."

Stay tuned for my next Blog post about fashion! (Sorry boys…hehe)

Relationships PART 3

(This is the last one I will be posting on Relationships...for now.)

Understanding Each Other:

If you are ever in a fight with someone, your reason for fighting in the first place and staying strong about it, is cause you want to be understood. And when that person won't, it breaks your heart. We want to be understood, why we do the thing we do, and why we say the things we say. There are always reasons behind every persons actions. Instead of lashing out at each other, listen to what the other has to say.

How powerful is the tongue, so full of words that praise God, but yet slander our brothers and sisters…

Have you been guilty of praising God, yet saying hurtful and ugly things to your spouse or even friends and family, with the same tongue?

Proverbs 10: 19-21

"When words abound, transgression is inevitable, but the one who restrains his words is wise. What the righteous say is like the best silver, but what the wicked think is of little value. The teaching of the righteous feeds many, but fools die for lack of wisdom."

James 4:1-2 "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God."

Respect, Honesty, and Trust:

How do you expect to go far in a relationship without these three essentials?

If you do not trust your other half, it leads to not being honest with one other, and you slowly lose respect and trust, which then leads to fighting constantly and being irresponsible with each others sensitivities. We have no regards to the sense of well being and importance this person should hold in your life. So our only concerns then are that of our own. Accept one another for who you are, don't push one another to be someone you are not. Listen to each other even if you cannot understand the significance of their thoughts and opinions. Don't judge them by their outer body cause this always gives you the wrong picture of who someone really is.

And to be honest with one another means you share every detail, even if it means hurting their feelings. But we must always do it in a loving way. Even if it doesn't seem important to you, it might be important to them. And you always grow from it! When you are keeping something from your spouse, you have to deal with it by yourself everyday. But you shouldn't have to do that. Lay it down for them to see and you can help each other see new perspectives.

But if you cannot be honest with your spouse, this means you do not trust them.

If we cannot trust our other half with our thoughts or past actions, so that we don't hurt their feelings, and are willing to lie to keep it that way…you better be ready to keep a notebook so you can keep your lies straight. But how disrespectful is all of this lying when your intentions was not to hurt them in the first place…

Trust in a relationship is a tricky thing. If you have been hurt in the past cause you trusted someone, and every time, they broke it. You have been let down cause you put your trust in man. We are to have full trust in God first. And it falls back into having God as your #1. If you have been hurt and have trust issues, you need to know people will come and go, they will hurt you. But God will always be there, always watching, and will NEVER let you down. God is consistent, man is always changing.

Getting Wisdom from God:

Aren't we all searching for some kind of wisdom on this earth? Being wise in your own eyes is foolishness, cause we all know God's wisdom is more desirable. We cannot learn of God's wisdom in University and get a degree in it. It can only come in a right relationship with God and always seeking it! When the Holy Spirit dwells in our soul it will always lead us to truth. We must take time out of our busy schedule, to learn and practice Gods wisdom!

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your path."

Proverbs 2:6-9 "For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity. He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him. Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will find the right way to go."

Call on God for wisdom, and he will direct you on a righteous path.

My Conclusion:

There is this song I listen to a LOT by Brandon Heath called, "Love Never Fails".

It is the perfect song to go with my blog. Please listen to it and then read these bible verses (Youtube Video-Love Never Fails).

1 Corinthians 13:1-3
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Before we can trust ourselves or others to take care of us one day, and for us to take care of them. We must love God first before anything else. Love ties in to everything I just wrote about. Love is the key. And I don't mean worldy love, I mean godly love. 

Don't be afraid to take chances, and live outside your comfort zone. God took a chance on you, and gave you life. Now what you will do with your life, is the main question...

Everything I have written in this blog, is knowledge and experience I have gained, I am just learning to apply it. I am not perfect, and will always make mistakes… But I am always trusting that God will pick me up afterwards, because He cares for me. Jesus, His only son, died on the cross because He loves me that much. And He loves you just as equally!

I would love to hear from you guys on what you think and if this has helped you in ANY way. 

Thank you all SO much for reading, it seriously means a lot!

Take care,

God Bless!

~Destiny~

Relationships PART 2

God Is My First Love:

I remind myself as much as possible…"God comes first before anything else!" The same goes with relationships. If God is your first love and you try your best to put Him first, that is completely awesome! If you can honestly say almost every choice you make, God is involved, and you cannot be moved by others mean remarks, or harsh criticism, and you always remember the only judgment that can move you or change you, is God, you are well ahead! Keep your eyes on Him as we try and walk a straight line.

Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

We Want to Love as God Loves Us:

Our relationship should reflect God's relationship with us and the church. Our love is supposed to look like God's love. Of course we are not perfect, and we should never judge someone if they do not completely show it themselves. But we can guide one another to do our best. God's love never runs dry!

Ephesians 5: 1- 2 "Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

1 John 4:8 "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

Psalm 117:2 "For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD." 

It's Marriage Or Nothing:

We see SO many young people getting into relationships now a days, with no true understanding of what it means to be in a relationship in the first place!

I have always wanted to ask a young couple walking down the street or just anywhere, "What does a true and pure relationship mean to you?" But of course I could never do that. So I usually just guess what they would say.

One thing I am going to ask my kids one day, when they start talking about girls/boys that they like, and how they see other young people around them in relationships, I will say, "Do you want to marry them one day?"

And if they answer with, "Oh no! I am too young to be thinking about that right now. I have no idea if they are even the one!"

I will gladly reply, "Then you are too young to be even thinking about having a relationship!"

Another quote from Pastor Nelson:

"You don't need to kiss a bunch of toads to find your handsome prince."

It is marriage or nothing! If you are in a relationship right now and you have no intention of marriage, or just haven't thought about it, I would encourage you to slow down and really think and talk about your current situation. Ask yourself," do I need to move on and get out of this relationship before it's too late?" It is sinful to be taking advantage of each other to fulfill your own needs, and the satisfaction of being loved. We are to get that from God first.

But if you deprive yourself of sinful indulgences, and you do not replace it with a godly alternative, chances are, you will fall even worse then you did before…

Matthew 26:41"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

Ecclesiastes 11:9 "Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth;

Walk in the ways of your heart, and in the sight of your eyes; But know that for all these God will bring you into judgment."

Ephesians 5:3-5 "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God."

Love and Forgiveness:

We KNOW this is important, but again, we must learn to apply it everyday... 

Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

Proverbs 17:9
Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.

Matthew 22:37–39
Jesus said to him, 'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'

We Get Our Joy From God First: 

Now this falls under the same category of being complete and not fulfilling your own needs. Let God be your joy! Praise him everyday for putting a roof over your head, for providing food for your family. Laugh at the moment you get a flat tire. God did it for a reason, and we need to praise him for it.

Romans 8:28-29 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters."

Die To Self Daily:

Literally every morning you wake up, you should remind yourself that you are a sinner, and what things you need to work on. It's always good to keep perspective, know who you are as a person, and be humble. In order to die to self, you must put God first, then you second. We must always challenge ourselves! 

1 John 2: 1-6

"My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says "I know him" but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked."

Communication:

I could go on and on with this subject! But I will try and keep it simple…

This is SO important in a relationship. If you want to move ahead in life, you need this essential!

You must pay close attention to each other and listen! In other words...you must be on the same page!

I read a good example online once about how communication in any kind of relationship is like a life giving river. When we cannot communicate, it builds a dam that stops the flow of water. This causes everything around it to suffer and slowly die. Seeds that were once planted cannot grow, and both people develop a strong thirst for their unmet needs, eventually causing cracks throughout the relationship.

MANY relationships fall through the cracks simply because of a lack of communication.

We may speak with people everyday, but true communication is entirely more personal. This is critical for growth in a relationship.

Proverbs 18:13

"To answer before listening, that is folly and shame."

James 1:19-20 "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."

Part 3 will be up in a few days!!

Relationships PART 1

I meant to post this a while ago, but it was getting REALLY long and a bit overwhelming. I have decided to split it up into parts! So bear with me.

Part 2 will be posted in a few days.

You hear girls say this a lot, or maybe you don't, and I am the only one… hehe.

"There are not many good Christian men out there for us girls to choose from!"

But what about the guys perspective? What do you think they are saying about women these days?

Have you ever considered the possibility that WE, meaning us girls, need to work on our own Christian life as well?

How are you supposed to be responsible with someone else's life when you are not able to be responsible for your own?

We need to focus on being that godly woman that we need to be, rather than trying to find that godly man, AND the same with the guys! They don't get out of it that easily…

Don't lower your standards! God has high standards for us, and we should too!

A great quote from our Pastor, Larry Nelson:

"It's better to be single, then to wish that you were."

God would rather have us see what we can put INTO a relationship, not what we can get OUT of a relationship.

There are two kinds of relationships out there! A worldly one, and a Godly one.

We will start with what a worldly relationship looks like:

• We are in it to fulfill our own needs
• We want them to complete us as a whole
• We want to love and feel loved
• There are no boundaries to keep you from sinning
• We have no discretion
• We don't care how others are affected
• Wise in our own eyes
• The world's love is always performance-based

What a Godly relationship looks like:

• We are in it to fulfill God's plan
• We are already complete as a person because we find our identity in Jesus Christ
• God is your first love and foundation
• We want to love others as God loves us
• Your family relationships are healthy
• It's marriage or nothing
• Love and forgiveness
• We get our joy from God first
• Die to self daily
• Healthy communication 
• Understanding of each other
• Respect
• Honesty
• Trust
• Getting Wisdom from God

One life lesson I learned growing up, was applying the knowledge I got from others, to my daily life.

As young teens, who are starting to become independent, we are told over and over, don't do this, don't do that, God loves you, we love you, read your bible, don't fall into sin, stay close to the church, etc.

Of course I would say "Ya ya, I know!" I could tell everyone of this knowledge and advice that I received from family and friends very well, but, no one ever sat me down and asked me how I was applying it to my life. I know if someone did…I would have been at a loss for words.

We like to think that knowledge is enough…

Christian #1:"I have read EVERY book in the bible, I know EVERY story and EVERY parable Jesus spoke to the people!"

Christian #2: "Wow! I am VERY impressed. So tell me…how are you applying it to your life? What are you getting from all this knowledge?"

We tend to take what we know for granted. If we were applying God's word to our lives daily…why do we always make such big mistakes and not learn from them? God is trying to make us apply this knowledge!

I want to go through every point I just brought up thoroughly.

Fulfilling Gods Plan:

When we get into a relationship, it should be for God. This is the way He intended it. To have one for ourselves, does not hold us accountable for our actions. If we are not doing what God calls us to do, then we obviously are fully aware that we are going against Him.

Here is an example: If you were driving along the same road everyday, and you were just sick and tired of following everyone else, and obeying the same rules, and you just wanted to make a change and go against the traffic, you obviously are aware that you are driving towards oncoming cars!  You made this decision, and now your life is in danger!

We must fulfill God's plan in our lives and not go against Him! 

AND to add a bonus…God's plan is WAY better then any plan us humans,  could ever come up with.

Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."

Ephesians 5:8-11 "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them."

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 

Being Complete as a Whole:

I have also learned that being complete as a person means I cannot and should not be in a relationship, unless GOD has completed me first. We need to stop looking and start praying! I have heard many stories from people who say, "The moment I stopped looking, was the moment God knew I was ready, and finally introduced me to my future spouse." When we are looking instead of praying that God will show us the way, we have the desire in our hearts to want,  instead of wanting to wait. So, you need to ask yourself, "Am I searching for myself, or for God?" If you still have not found your future spouse, God must be doing that for a reason. Something needs to happen in your life before you are ready, and maybe He is still preparing that future spouse as well!

Now you'll just have to wait for part 2...

God Bless!

~Destiny~

RISE TO THE CHALLENGE

We all know anger and frustration is a negative in our lives.

We are fully aware of what it can do to our relationships, our way of thinking, and 

our health.

But if we are so aware of how negative it is…why don't we have the power to stop it from happening?

It's like an addiction, and we know how hard it is to stop addictions.

When we love something, we cannot let it go.

Why is it SOO hard to fight our selfish desires?

We have grown (as sinners) to love ourselves, right from birth!

Aren't toddlers living proof of this? They are just starting out and learning about the world…but somehow they already want to please themselves?? How and where did they learn this?! 

How could that evolve in a person billions of years ago? Well, we shall leave that for another argument…

We have read in the bible countless times not to be sharp tongued, or quick to anger.

(Proverbs 12:16) A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

(Proverbs 15:1) A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Why must we let our sins get the better of us? I guess in times like these, it's good to ask ourselves, "What Would Jesus Do?"

Destiny: "THERE WILL BE NO CRAZY PEOPLE
DANCING IN MY HOUSE!"

Example:

If my sisters came up to me as I was in the middle of writing an important essay that was due the next morning, and I decided to leave it to the last minute, and they came in loudly from being hyper cause they finished off a whole can of coffee as an experiment, asking me where my ipod was so they could listen to music downstairs and dance like crazy people. I would of course be very quick tempered and push them out of my room and slam the door behind them.

Now…was ANYTHING about that right? Of course not!

Now everyone would understand why I was like that, "Oh she is feeling really pressured to get her essay done, school can be really stressful…"

But the bible still tells us even in situations like the one I gave above, we are to stray from anger.

I see it as, every time I get angry over big things or little things, I failed to see Gods test. God puts obstacles in our way to teach us things. So if you find you have been constantly getting upset and frustrated or even stressed over stuff… I think God is trying to tell you something.

It could be so easy to get upset over the dog getting into the garbage and then peeing on the carpet. Or that my brother used up all the hot water in the shower. But do we really wanna take the easy route? Don't we want to be challenged in life?

Since we are sinners, our heart will want to get upset about stuff, and since we are far from being perfect like God is, we have to constantly fight these feelings!

So I give you this, when it comes to fighting our feelings, don't take the easy route! Rise to the Challenge!

Colossians 3:7-9
You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices

Ephesians 4:25-27
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

2 Timothy 2:23-24
Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful

~Destiny~

Choosing Friends Wisely

What does it mean to have good friends?

I have struggled with this question for many years.

We all know a good friend is trustworthy, loyal, kind and loving.

For us girls, it's someone who you can share tears, laughter, and godly conversation over a bowl of ice cream together.

But I know every person has struggled at one point in life, to find the right kind of friends. There is a saying, "You are who your friends are."

Have you ever asked yourself, "What do my friendships say to others? Is my friendship pleasing to God?"

God wants our friendships to grow in Him. He will weed out the bad from the good.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Proverbs 12:26 One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

It says those who walk with the wise will become wise himself, but those who keep company with a fool will surely be destroyed.

When I was first starting private school in grade 2, it was very easy for me to make friends, I LOVED it.

It's all innocent and pure. We could play tag together and poke all the boys with sticks.

But then I hit grade 4, and I noticed that fights started to occur. And it scared me…

I had NEVER been in a fight with a friend before. It scared me to the point where I tried to please them so they wouldn't get mad at me.

And it never got better in time. I was still trying to please everyone around me and now I know why a lot of people never stuck around.

Have you ever wondered why we make bad decisions in life? Well…if you never had bad influences in your life, how could you ever make wrong decisions?

negative friends means making bad choices.

Of course we already have our sin nature, but when we start trying to please and fit in with others… well, you can already fill in the blanks

If your friends are making you sin in anyway…you gotta do something about it. And if you are corrupting your friends, stop and think about it.

And I wish growing up, I was taught the value of having good friends.

I realized I never stood up for myself in times when it was most definitely needed.

I just wanted so badly to fit in! But to fit in means to maybe break some rules…

and THAT is unpleasing to God.

It's our sin nature to be full of self doubt, not sure where we fit in with the big equation. But making a few mistakes here and there with which friends you decide to hang out with, definitely matures you and could help you in the future, if you are wise enough to get out of it.

We must fear God, not fear man. To fear man leads to sin, to fear God leads you out of sin. For man did nothing to save themselves from sin.

Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.

We must always ask ourselves "what kind of friends do I have?" How many of these do you think you can check off…

[ ] My friends do not make me sin against God and my parents

[ ] My friends do not gossip

[ ] My friends do not turn me against others around me

[ ] My friends would not use me for there own gain

[ ] My friends are not prejudice to others, and welcome all into a group no matter what differences they may have (Unless they are a bad influence)

[ ] My friends have godly love towards me

[ ] I can trust my friends with my life

[ ] My friends help me grow in my walk with God

[ ] I know I can go to them when in need of help, and they will point me in the right direction

[ ] I can be myself around my friends

[ ] They don't care if I'm short, tall, fat, or thin

[ ] Do you and your friends rely on bad habits to have fun? ( Even if you are not doing the things your friends do, it doesn't mean people won't think you are as well)

Those don't totally cover it all, but its a start.

You may not realize how much of an effect your friends have on your life, whether it's what you should wear, or what you should do in the future.

When you are at the age where you are still trying to find out who you are (the awful teen years)… we rely on our friends sometimes without realizing it to fill in the blanks in our lives.

I have learned so much in just one year, and one thing I am going to work on is, what kind of a friend I am to others, cause it is most definitely good to find the perfect (but of course imperfect) friends, but I also have to make sure I am also a good friend to them as well. It's never a one way friendship, we all have to be a blessing.

Now I am not saying we should never work with the lost, we are called to do so! We are one way God gets to those in pain. But there are always boundary lines…

When Jesus came to earth, he went to the sinners and the outcasts. But when he did, it was always for the purpose to save them and clean up their ways! And once he did, they fell on their knees and wept before him…THEN they became good friends.

The Conclusion:

We are all human and as friends we can make mistakes, but if you and your friends are not growing from those mistakes, we need to rethink where our priorities lie.

Friends come and go like usual. But the ones that stick around and have always been a blessing to you and have done their best to help you not sin against God…THAT is a true friend.

Thank you for reading,

~Destiny~