Choosing Friends Wisely

What does it mean to have good friends?

I have struggled with this question for many years.

We all know a good friend is trustworthy, loyal, kind and loving.

For us girls, it's someone who you can share tears, laughter, and godly conversation over a bowl of ice cream together.

But I know every person has struggled at one point in life, to find the right kind of friends. There is a saying, "You are who your friends are."

Have you ever asked yourself, "What do my friendships say to others? Is my friendship pleasing to God?"

God wants our friendships to grow in Him. He will weed out the bad from the good.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Proverbs 12:26 One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

It says those who walk with the wise will become wise himself, but those who keep company with a fool will surely be destroyed.

When I was first starting private school in grade 2, it was very easy for me to make friends, I LOVED it.

It's all innocent and pure. We could play tag together and poke all the boys with sticks.

But then I hit grade 4, and I noticed that fights started to occur. And it scared me…

I had NEVER been in a fight with a friend before. It scared me to the point where I tried to please them so they wouldn't get mad at me.

And it never got better in time. I was still trying to please everyone around me and now I know why a lot of people never stuck around.

Have you ever wondered why we make bad decisions in life? Well…if you never had bad influences in your life, how could you ever make wrong decisions?

negative friends means making bad choices.

Of course we already have our sin nature, but when we start trying to please and fit in with others… well, you can already fill in the blanks

If your friends are making you sin in anyway…you gotta do something about it. And if you are corrupting your friends, stop and think about it.

And I wish growing up, I was taught the value of having good friends.

I realized I never stood up for myself in times when it was most definitely needed.

I just wanted so badly to fit in! But to fit in means to maybe break some rules…

and THAT is unpleasing to God.

It's our sin nature to be full of self doubt, not sure where we fit in with the big equation. But making a few mistakes here and there with which friends you decide to hang out with, definitely matures you and could help you in the future, if you are wise enough to get out of it.

We must fear God, not fear man. To fear man leads to sin, to fear God leads you out of sin. For man did nothing to save themselves from sin.

Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.

We must always ask ourselves "what kind of friends do I have?" How many of these do you think you can check off…

[ ] My friends do not make me sin against God and my parents

[ ] My friends do not gossip

[ ] My friends do not turn me against others around me

[ ] My friends would not use me for there own gain

[ ] My friends are not prejudice to others, and welcome all into a group no matter what differences they may have (Unless they are a bad influence)

[ ] My friends have godly love towards me

[ ] I can trust my friends with my life

[ ] My friends help me grow in my walk with God

[ ] I know I can go to them when in need of help, and they will point me in the right direction

[ ] I can be myself around my friends

[ ] They don't care if I'm short, tall, fat, or thin

[ ] Do you and your friends rely on bad habits to have fun? ( Even if you are not doing the things your friends do, it doesn't mean people won't think you are as well)

Those don't totally cover it all, but its a start.

You may not realize how much of an effect your friends have on your life, whether it's what you should wear, or what you should do in the future.

When you are at the age where you are still trying to find out who you are (the awful teen years)… we rely on our friends sometimes without realizing it to fill in the blanks in our lives.

I have learned so much in just one year, and one thing I am going to work on is, what kind of a friend I am to others, cause it is most definitely good to find the perfect (but of course imperfect) friends, but I also have to make sure I am also a good friend to them as well. It's never a one way friendship, we all have to be a blessing.

Now I am not saying we should never work with the lost, we are called to do so! We are one way God gets to those in pain. But there are always boundary lines…

When Jesus came to earth, he went to the sinners and the outcasts. But when he did, it was always for the purpose to save them and clean up their ways! And once he did, they fell on their knees and wept before him…THEN they became good friends.

The Conclusion:

We are all human and as friends we can make mistakes, but if you and your friends are not growing from those mistakes, we need to rethink where our priorities lie.

Friends come and go like usual. But the ones that stick around and have always been a blessing to you and have done their best to help you not sin against God…THAT is a true friend.

Thank you for reading,

~Destiny~