Yesterday was not a great day for me. It was just one of those days where no matter what you did, things just seemed to do nothing but go wrong, and I had no control over it! My upside down cake didn't turn out very well (I like to be creative... and not read the recipe properly (insert humor)), so I let that get to me; my English homework has been getting super frustrating, plans were being broken and being changed, etc, etc. Ultimately, I was getting brought down by small things which seemed REALLY big at the time. However, at the end of the day, I had a great talk with Thomas (my amazing boyfriend), and I was able to reflect on my day as I complained about each thing that went wrong. It started to dawn on me… “God wouldn’t be very pleased with me right now” or “Did you ever think God was trying to test you?” so I started to feel a bit ashamed! I started to dig deeper in the how and whys of the situation, and came to the deep conclusion…
The past few months have been so focused on myself; on all of my own selfish reasons for getting up in the morning to do what I saw fit, I forgot to let God lead me in everything, down to the simplest things in life.
I find every once in a while; I do this to myself…
I get so caught up in my day to day busy life that I finally had my breakdown. I noticed God was not a strong presence anymore like He used to be, which started to scare me, and I ended up on my hands and knees begging God to take control again.
I haven’t had a real good cry since my dad passed away last year, so this was a true healing moment for me again. I’ve been so used to being strong for everyone, being a good example as a follower of Christ. I always end up getting caught up and forgetful of the reason why I am even here in the first place with my family and my faith. Everything slowly became self centered for me.
I was humbled and reminded of Gods saving grace for me, how amazingly loving He has been to my family. Why do I deserve every gift He has given? Why do I deserve the people He has put in my life? Well, obviously, I don’t deserve it…
I don’t deserve a single thing, which really hit me hard. God chose me and loves me so much, even though I deserve nothing, He has allowed me to worship Him, serve Him, and to one day meet Him in heaven… If that isn’t a humbling experience, I don’t know what is!
I can feel at ease knowing God is taking care of the road I walk on; calling me towards Him.
I love my Lord and Savior! He is there, readily, to lift me up when He knows I have fallen short, because we all do it every once in awhile no matter what we've been through.
Thank you guys for reading! I felt like this experience should not be left just for me to know about, but it should be shared for people to see that real things are happening daily in Christian’s lives. God is good!